auld lang syne
by SparkleMouse
Summary: Castle smiles, ruffling Ava's hair. She grunts softly but her little hands wrap around his back as if grounding herself to him, staying safe and warm. On the other end of the phone, Kate laughs, but there's something there; longing or regret and his eyes close. "You're not going to be home by midnight, are you?"
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I'm a little early on the New Year's fic, I know, but I figured why not! While I intended for this to be a one shot it was going to get way too long so there will be 3 chapters instead. It takes place in the future, maybe about seven years from now? As always, I would love to know what you think. Thanks!

* * *

The lights are dim upstairs, the elongated shadow of his body guiding him down the hall to the last bedroom on the left. There's a thump on the other end and he can't help but smile, pressing his ear against the door. The sheets and blankets rustle; a stuffed animal – maybe two – fall onto the floor. He counts to five in his head before pushing open the door and stepping into the quiet, leaving behind the music and laughter from the party below.

The room is nearly black with the exception of the stars and consolations reflected onto the ceiling from the light machine in the corner of the room; the one that rests just beyond his daughter's bedside, casting a tinted glow across her soft teal comforter. She had refused the night light for the past couple of years now, but had agreed on the night sky, counting the stars when she couldn't sleep, learning the names of the constellations and repeating them over and over again after he told them to her. They lost meaning soon enough until she had surprised him one morning, inserting _Hydra _and _Libra _and _Mensa _into a conversation about hopping from one to another in her dreams, making the sky an even bigger place for the heavens. It was a tale weaved of creation and imagination and Kate had laughed as the excitement in their daughter bubbled to the surface, smile hidden behind the rim of her coffee cup because while she looked all Beckett, her personality was Castle to a tee.

Castle watches his little girl in bed now, covers half off of her, dark braided hair sticking out on her pillow. He knows she's still awake despite her pretending otherwise; her breaths are too light, she squirms a little too much. She's smart enough to know that she sleeps half out of the covers even in winter, but the positioning is wrong. He steps out of his shoes, feet sinking into the plush rug as he climbs onto the bed. He brushes his hand over her back, soothing her. She sighs, but doesn't settle; she'll play this game for hours if he lets her and really, there's only one thing left for him to do -

He drops his hands to her ribs, a peel of giggles vibrating in the room as he tickles her. She squirms and kicks and she sounds so much like Kate when she laughs, uninhibited and light and so beautiful that his heart clenches.

"Daddy," she gasps, "daddy, stop!"

His hands drop and she looks up, her braid half undone, her cheeks rosy. He can make out one of the constellations in the shadowed irises of her eyes – Scorpius, he thinks – so dark, so full of life. She works at catching her breath, little inhales that don't diminish the smile.

"I thought I put you to bed hours ago, AJ."

She lifts a shoulder in a shrug, blowing the hair out of her face. She's grown so much in the past year, become her own little person. Part him, part Kate, some parts all AJ that neither of them know where it comes from. She climbs onto his stomach, her knobby knees digging into his sides. "I tried, daddy. But look." She pulls a tiara out from under her bedspread, all pink and feathery, lit up in sparkles with the words _Happy New Year. _"Gram gave me this and said I could wear it when the balls fall down."

"Oh she did, huh?" He kisses her forehead. "Midnight is too late for you, baby. If you go to sleep now, we can wake up early and I'll make you pancakes and eggs and mommy will make you her famous French toast." Her nose twitches, considering. "But," he draws out, "if you stay up, you're gonna be so tired in the morning that you're gonna want to sleep until it's time to go out with Gram and Grandpa."

"I don't know, daddy. Grandpa said we can go to that really fun place, the one with all the food in the rows where we do it alone without waiters and they have, oh daddy, they have so many different kinds of pancakes and Grandpa lets me taste all of them!"

Yeah, he is so not going to win this one.

His phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out, smiling at Kate's photo on the screen. He turns it around and holds it up in front of his daughter's face. The smile lights from within her and she reaches for the phone. "Mommy! I wanna answer! Please?"

Kate is going to kill him. But the way AJ is looking at him, the way her eyes sparkle at the knowledge that her mother is on the other end; well, he's a sucker. For both his wife and his daughter. He hands the iPhone over and she presses her thumb over the answer button.

"Hi mommy!"

He doesn't hear what Kate's saying, just the smooth cadence of her words, the voice she uses solely for AJ. It had surprised him the first time he heard it; he always knew she'd be an incredible mother but it was on their daughter's first night home – the cold chill of winter lost inside the warmth of the loft – that he heard the change in her tone, the soothing whisper when she spoke as if being a mother was what she was always meant to do.

He looks down at AJ, the band around her hair loose and stretched and he pulls it out. It untangles in his hands, long and wild, and she reaches up, wrapping a strand around her finger, twirling and twirling while she laughs at something Kate says on the other line. He's never seen her do that before and it's so _Beckett_ like that he wants to wrap it up and put it away, take it out years down the line when his youngest has gone to college and-

"Yeah, daddy's still here." He snaps his attention back to the conversation at hand. "K. I love you too. Mwa."

She hands off the phone to him without a word, resting her head on his chest.

"Hey."

"You know Ava's going to be a terror in the morning, right?"

Castle smiles, ruffling the girl's hair. She grunts softly but her little hands wrap around his back as if grounding herself to him, staying safe and warm. "Then it's a good thing she's with our parents all day." On the other end, Kate laughs, but there's something there; longing or regret and his eyes close. "You're not going to be home by midnight, are you?"

"There was an accident on I-80, traffic is backed up. I probably won't be home until two or three, depending on how fast it clears. I'm sorry, Castle."

"Hey, it's okay. We knew there was a chance you wouldn't be here."

"Everything going okay?"

"Your father brought a date."

"He told me he was going to. She works at the courthouse. What did your mom think of her?"

Castle lifts his knees, Ava's body curling up into a ball on top of him. The toes of her pink footie pajamas hit his thighs and he wraps an arm around her. "Said she was stuffy, uninteresting and your father deserves someone who wouldn't make even the Pope pass out from boredom at dinner."

Kate snorts out a laugh. "From what I remember Martha said the same thing about my dad that first disastrous dinner we had as a couple. You know if I said any of that to him about a woman he wouldn't listen. But the moment your mother says it-"

"Yes, it is still one of life's greatest mysteries that they became such good friends." He knows he needs to get off the phone. Kate's driving with Ryan beside her, Ava's still awake, his guests are still downstairs. But all he can do is listen to her, the soft sounds of her breathing, the hum of traffic and ambulances on her end of the line. "I miss you."

"Me too. Both of you. Think you can wait up for me?"

"Beckett," Ryan whines, and it comes through the phone clear and uncomfortable. "Come on. I don't want to hear you and Castle discuss whatever it is you and Castle discuss in places where it's not appropriate."

Castle laughs. "Tell Honeymilk that I haven't forgotten New Year's three years ago. Pretty sure Sean was conceived on my office couch." He shivers dramatically. "Sometimes I still see the images. I really should have invested in brain bleach after that party."

"Daddy?" Ava lifts her head. "What's conceived? What did Seany do to the couch?"

Kate chokes out a laugh. "Oh good luck with that one, Castle."

"Sean didn't do anything to the couch, baby," he says, rubbing his hand over Ava's back.

"But what's the other word mean?"

"It has a lot of different meanings. We'll pick five new words and learn them this week, okay?"

"Oh yes! Okay." She rests her head back down, content and happy.

"She is definitely your daughter," he mutters. "Needs an answer for everything."

"Like you don't?"

"Touché."

"I have to go. I'll be home as soon as I can. Love you."

"Love you too."

He ends the call, brushing his lips over Ava's forehead. "Okay, you spoke to mom, AJ. Bedtime."

She pops back up, hitting his knees awkwardly and she scrambles into a sitting position. She pushes the hair away from her face, brown eyes set and determined and his lips lift, because he knows that look, fell in love with that look over a decade ago. "But daddy, I'm not sleepy. I think I'll be able to sleep if I can see the people at the party. Cause I wanna tell Patty about the story in my head. The bones one."

He smiles at the nickname she had given to James Patterson a year ago during one of Castle's poker games; the older writer had smiled, thrown in his hand and spent the next round in the living room with Ava, concocting stories about space and stars, magic and mystery. He had become her favorite aside from the boys and maybe Castle's a sucker, but he doesn't want to take that away from her. He loves how much she loves stories, how she loves being around the people that care the most about her. Her face is lit with so much excitement and anticipation and it's not like he has a date for New Year's anymore since his wife is stuck in the car somewhere between Pennsylvania and New Jersey.

"If I let you come downstairs you have to promise that when it's time to get up in the morning, you don't cry because you're tired. You don't get grumpy with Gram and Grandpa even though you're going to have a long day out with them. If I let you stay up for the celebration like a big girl, you have to act like a big girl." He holds out his hand to her. "Deal?"

She ignores his hand, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, smacking his cheek with a kiss. "Thank you, daddy," she whispers. "I promise I'll be good."

* * *

Minutes to midnight, the loft is crowded with people – family, friends, and business associates – the music quiet over the fairly tipsy conversations of his guests. The TV is on and muted, Times Square festivities broadcast across the screen, an entire world of partying and white snow just beyond his windows.

Castle stands alone in the kitchen, leaning back against the fridge with a glass of champagne in hand as he takes in the room. His daughters are on the couch, full of animation and whispered secrets, a bond strong despite their age difference. Ava rests her on head on Alexis' shoulder both of them listening intently to something Alexis' boyfriend is saying and then both his girls laugh, joyous and so full of life and he's not sure he's even been more grateful. The counter on the TV signifies it's almost time and he glances at the door, expecting, wanting, needing Kate to walk in before the clock strikes.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, startling him and he takes it out.

_Stop staring at the door. I won't be home in time._

It makes him smile how well she knows him and he slides his finger across the screen to unlock it. _Isn't it illegal to text while driving, Detective?_

He moves into the living room while he waits for her response, unmuting the television. Streamers and confetti are already being thrown out on the city streets and he should have rigged it so it fell from the ceiling tonight; he'll have to remember that for next year.

_Standstill traffic but you're right, it is illegal. Maybe I'll let you read me my rights later._

_Handcuffs?_

Ava jumps off of Alexis, runs to give Jim a kiss and the loft is suddenly a whirlwind, people moving closer to the TV, flutes of champagne held high as the anticipation of the countdown begins. The ball shines silver and bright, lights and music and celebrities flashing from location to location. Footage from London five hours ago, Paris six. Parties and old friends everywhere despite the time.

His phone buzzes, less than a minute to go.

_House to ourselves tomorrow. You're on. Almost midnight. Give our girl a kiss for me._

Shit. How does she know? She does have that annoying mother spidey-sense. Or a nanny cam. He had teased her about that before but – no, she wouldn't have done that without telling him.

_What? I mean, why would I go upstairs when everyone is downstairs?_

She sends back a message quickly like it's been ready to go. It's a picture of Lanie and Jenny that must have been sent to Ryan but how did – oh. In the background are his daughters, wide awake and so very recently taken.

_Careful, Castle. There's a penalty for perjuring yourself. Looks like you might be the one in handcuffs. _

He wants to respond when Ava jumps into his arms. He barrels back a step before lifting her into his arms, a chorus of decreasing numbers filling the room.

Eighteen. Seventeen. Sixteen.

She stares at the TV with amazement, watching the brightly lit numbers counting down on the screen. Her mouth moves, trying to keep up, her grasp around him tight as the room continues with their countdown.

Eleven. Ten. Nine.

Castle glances at the door one last time, knows Kate won't be walking in but feels the longing clench in his chest. His daughter is a vice around him and it's enough the moment he hears the excitement in her voice. He counts quietly with her, brushing his lips over her cheek.

Three. Two.

One.

Fireworks erupt outside, colorful and exuberant. Someone has turned up the stereo in the loft, Auld Lang Syne singing through the speakers, flutes of champagne clinking together, a chorus of _Happy New Year's _making their rounds.

Ava turns her head to look at him, resting her palms on his cheeks. "It's the new year now?"

Castle adjusts the tiara on her head, grinning. "It is. Happy New Year, AJ."

"Happy New Year!" She kisses him on the lips. "Can I wear my crown to bed?"

"Don't push it."

She huffs out a sigh, the exhaustion starting to get the better of her. "K." She rests her head in the crook of his neck. "Is mommy gonna be home soon?"

"Not soon enough for you. You'll see her in the morning when you wake up." He presses a kiss into her hair. "I love you, AJ."

"I know, daddy. Me too."

Her weight is heavy in his arms as she settles, and he lays her on one of the empty chairs in the living room. She curls up, crown falling out of her tangled hair and he snaps a picture, sending it to Kate. _You wouldn't have been able to resist her either. Happy New Year, Kate._

_She is pretty hard to resist. Like father like daughter. Happy New Year, Castle. See you soon. _


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: I wanted to say thank you so so much to everyone reading and reviewing. I've never written kid fic before and it's rather terrifying so I'm happy people are loving Ava and I hope you continue to do so.

Also a huge huge thanks to cleverdistraction for reading 292893289 versions in 28328738273782738287 fragments (I literally assume it's that many if not more.) You're the greatest.

As always, I'd love to know your thoughts!

* * *

Kate pushes open the door to the loft, the heat a welcomed distraction from the frigid late night air. It's quiet except for the hum of the dishwasher, and she breathes a sigh of relief that the party-goers are gone, the apartment relatively clean. It had been a disaster after last year's, an extravaganza that lasted past four in the morning. She still only remembers bits and pieces of it: the karaoke that Castle had set up when all their acquaintances were gone, the bottles of vodka that had been consumed, dragging him into their bedroom for a quickie while their close friends were in the living room because she had wanted him, _needed _him. It had been dizzying and fast and she smiles at the fragmented memory, closing the door with her foot.

She walks into the kitchen, dropping the bag of food onto the counter when she notices her daughter across the room, asleep in one of the chairs. There's a pink, sparkly tiara dangling from her hair and she's wrapped in her favorite lavender cashmere blanket, the one Castle had bought for her the last time he was in Paris. Her mouth is open in a small 'o' and Kate walks around the island to the living room. She kneels down beside the chair, brushes her fingers through the silky strands. The tiara loses its battle to stay in, falling to the floor. Ava blinks, once, twice, and then they're open; a mottled brown with shards of green, exhausted and a bit glassy.

"Mommy home," she mumbles, reaching her arms up.

She sounds younger than she is at the moment, lost in a haze of dreams and sleep. She's clingy when she's tired, wants the comfort and warmth and protection so much like her father. Kate grabs the tiara off the floor and lifts her, the girl's legs wrapping around her waist, Ava's head coming to settle on her shoulder and she smells like lotion and fresh detergent, like home. Kate presses a kiss into her hair, holds her daughter tightly against her. "Hey, baby. Why aren't you in bed yet?"

"She passed out right after the ball dropped," Castle responds, walking into the room. "I figured people would leave if they saw her poor, exhausted little self, passed out in a chair. Nothing kills a party like a sleeping kid." He stops in front of them, his smile wide, the corners around his mouth crinkling and she leans into him, his lips soft on hers. "Glad you're home."

"Me too." Ava is a heavy weight in her arms, body slack with sleep and Castle guides them to the couch. He sits down first, his body diagonal across the cushions and he gently pulls her down with him. Their daughter is draped over her chest and Kate rests her head over his heart, shifting sideways, the beat a rhythmic pattern in her ear. She breathes him in, lets the long car ride and never-ending case wash off of her as she settles. "You used our daughter as your plan to get everyone out?"

"It seemed less drastic than pulling the fire alarm."

She laughs, twining her fingers through Ava's hair. "You're lucky it didn't backfire on you. Remember Christmas Eve last year? We thought we'd get out that terrible play your mom bought us tickets to-"

"And then AJ got her second wind and we were stuck there all night because she just _had_ to go meet the cast. She told me she was going to act like Gram does after that." He groans, dropping his head against the couch cushion. "God help us all. Then again-" He draws his hand over the tiny body in her lap like he's memorizing Ava like this, all small and perfect and so very quiet. "In twenty years, she's going to be throwing the New Year's celebration no one wants to leave. We can throw joint parties like a father/daughter tag team! Alexis always said no when I asked her."

"You do know how old you'll be when she's in her twenties, right? I'm afraid your second wind might be a thing of the past."

Castle gasps. "Mean. Besides I won't be _that _old. I'm a Rodgers. Age is nothing but a number."

"Martha _is_ always the life of the party." Kate sighs, sliding her hand under his shirt. His skin is warm to the touch, heated from a night of entertaining and the fire burning nearby. She brushes her fingers over his stomach and curls into him, taking Ava with her.

"You okay?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah. Just thinking about how I used to love working on New Year's. You'd think there would be more murders tonight, but it tends to be quiet. The murders don't happen until tomorrow. The precinct would be so quiet and I relished in that time alone." She kisses Ava's temple. "Tonight was the first New Year's Eve I've worked since she was born and I hated every minute of it."

"On the bright side, you missed Jenny's and Lanie's horrible rendition of a very unpopular REO Speedwagon song."

"Except I was in a car with Ryan stuck in a three hour traffic jam. I got horrible renditions of my own. I think there actually was a REO Speedwagon song in there."

"Yeah, those two are really suited for each other."

Kate laughs and closes her eyes, content. She can feel Castle moving behind her and then the tiara is being placed in her hair, fastened and secured. She grunts, opening one eye and he's grinning down at her, blue eyes alight with happiness.

"You look cute as a princess."

"Shut up."

"And you already have your Castle."

Kate groans. "You have over thirty bestsellers and that is the best you can come up with? You're slacking."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

Hearing him say that still does things to her after all this time. She's come to realize that maybe it always will. Her hand stops the journey across him and she turns to glance up at him. "Speaking of writing, did you talk to Patterson tonight?"

"Yeah."

"And?" She can tell by the silence that there's a conversation to be had and she sits up fully, bringing Ava with her. She could push the issue, but she knows when the time is right they'll have this conversation. Sometime when their daughter isn't shifting in her arms, trying to find a comfortable position, when the morning isn't hours away. Kate leans forward and kisses Castle, lets her lips linger over his for seconds too long. "You hungry? I brought home food from Maison. I figured I could put Ava to bed and we can have our own celebration. Do we still have champagne?"

"There's a bottle chilling in the fridge for us." She yawns, covering her mouth with her hand, and Castle smiles. "A celebration that apparently will not consist of s-e-x. It's really not good for my ego if you fall asleep _again_ during it."

"It happened once, Castle, and I had been up for over thirty-six hours. The fact I even agreed to it that night should have proved how exhausted I was. I'll let you seduce me all day tomorrow if that makes you feel better."

He pretends to consider it before nodding. "You drive a hard bargain but I accept."

She stands up, bending down so Castle can kiss their daughter goodnight. He places Ava's hair behind her ear gently, and Kate's heart clenches, because he's so good with her; in love and incredibly devoted. He presses his lips to her forehead, tilts his head to whisper something in her ear that Kate can't quite make out and the little girl stirs again, lets out a breath.

"I'll be back down in a couple of minutes. Croque Monsieur needs to be warmed. The chicken might also." She rests her forehead against Castle's, slides over lips over his. "I love you. Thanks for having everyone out by the time I got home."

"You have a gun, Beckett," he murmurs, and she still loves when he calls her by her maiden name, the way it rolls off his tongue like it did so many years before he was hers. "I knew I didn't stand a chance."

* * *

She's gotten used to the darkness in her daughter's bedroom. She no longer bumps into the dresser like she had on those late nights right after Ava was born; she can sense stuffed animals now, clothes that her daughter loves to pull out during hours of dress up. She doesn't trip over the tiny heels anymore, the Ugg boots that Castle had bought simply because they were so "miniature and sparkly", the American Girl dolls that Ava rarely remembers to put back on the shelf. She knows her child in ways she never thought imaginable and it still knocks her back sometimes, surprises her when she least expects it.

The constellations and stars help guide her tonight and she's nearly at the bed when Ava rouses in her arms, shaking her head, tangled curls whipping her chin. "C'we do chair?"

She glances at the clock on the night stand. 2:45. She bites her lip, debating, but she hasn't spent quality time with her daughter all day and they both probably need this. She turns, making her way to the rocking chair in the corner of the room, white and chipped and so reminiscent of her past. She sits down and adjusts the pillow so Ava can lay her head down, the little girl's body curling in Kate's lap. She begins to slowly rock, the motion soothing, and she stares outside, watching the flakes of snow stick to the window.

It's in moments like this - the world quiet, her daughter safe and secure in her lap - that she misses her mother the most. This had been her spot with Johanna when she was growing up: nightmares that had woken her up in the middle of the night, cuddle sessions when Jim was working late, a fun experiment in rocking when she was eighteen and drunk and Johanna had caught her as she nearly fell off in too short a dress and too high of heels. She thinks of all the things Johanna would have loved about her granddaughter: Ava's vivaciousness, her passion for life. She tells stories that draws everyone into her web, loves to feel the way words roll off her tongue like they're this mystery she'll never quite understand but hopes to try. She loves passionately and fearlessly in ways Johanna had herself and she looks so much like a Beckett with her dark hair and eyes that burn green in the sunlight that Kate often wonders what they would have all looked like beside each other.

She takes in air, deep and rattling in her chest, the telltale sign of tears she doesn't want to fall when she feels a tiny hand on her waist. She looks down and her daughter is staring up at her, her lips pulled up in a half smile.

"Hi," Ava whispers. "You're wearin' my crown."

Kate presses her pointer finger to Ava's mouth and her lips purse, kissing it. "I know. I wanna be as pretty as you."

"No way. You're the prettiest."

She smiles, the back of her hand brushing over Ava's face. "Thank you. You did good as daddy's date tonight, Ave. Thanks for filling in for me. I think it made him really happy."

"He didn't know, Mommy. He didn't know you asked me. So I did good on the surprise, right?"

"You did very good."

"Okay." Her eyes start to close, a battle she seems intent to fight. "I'm pretty tired. Will you tell me who loves me?"

She smiles at the accidental tradition, one that was started the first time Castle was on an international tour after Ava was born. She had been three at the time - stubborn and a daddy's girl in every way back then - and had cried for hours on end, wanting nothing more than for him to put her to bed. It had torn her heart out to hear the sobbing hiccups, the whine when they finally connected with Castle over FaceTime, and it was just past eleven when she finally got Ava to settle, her head buried in Kate's lap, the remaining tears staining her jeans. The names were just supposed to remind Ava that she wasn't alone, that Castle loved her, _everyone _loved her but she insisted on it nearly every night since then, a running list that continued to grow.

Kate leans back, feeling the steady, calming sway of motion. "Mommy loves you and daddy. Alexis and Gram. Grandpa. Grandma in heaven. Uncle Kevin, Aunt Jenny, cousins Erin and Seany-"

"Uncle Javi and Aunt Lanie."

"Patty and-"

Her eyes widen and Kate doesn't know how there's so much excitement in her child this late into the night. She speaks a mile a minute as if she's forgotten how exhausted she is and it reminds Kate so much of Castle. Half asleep until he hears about a body that's dropped, until a novel pops into his head that needs to be written immediately. "Oh Mommy! I told Patty about my bones story and he really liked it. He said that I can write books with him when I'm older if I want."

"What about writing books with your dad?"

She considers this a moment before shaking her head. "No, just Patty." She yawns, covering her mouth over Kate's shirt. "How much sleep do I have before I haveta wake up?"

Shit. Not a lot. Kate holds up her left hand, holding one finger up, followed by another until her whole hand is spread wide. Ava mouths the number silently, counting each one with precision. "Five? Five is no good, Mommy."

"I'll call Grandpa in the morning and see if he can come over later. What about seven hours?" She drops her feet to the ground, pushing off the chair, and walks to the bed. She tosses Ava in, and she giggles when she bounces on the mattress, draping herself in blankets that'll be half off by morning. "You think you can be a good girl with that much sleep?"

"I can try."

Kate kneels on the rug, bracing her arms on the bed. "I love you, Ava."

"To infinity."

"And beyond."

"Like Buzz loves Andy. And Woody too. And like I love you!"

"Exactly like that," Kate says quietly. She nuzzles her nose against Ava's, breathes in her scent that is so undeniably her daughter one more time tonight. "Time to sleep, baby. You have a big day tomorrow."

"Finish telling me who loves me," she mumbles, but she's half out.

Kate makes herself comfortable on the floor, resting her head on Ava's pillow. "Patty and Michael and Captain Victoria..."


	3. Chapter 3

Please note the change in rating.

* * *

Kate pads barefoot out of the bedroom, the bottoms of her pants sweeping across the hardwood floors. The loft is warm, maybe too warm for the two decade old Stanford sweatshirt that she's bundled into, the oversized fleece pajamas that once belonged to Castle. She pushes the sleeves up, scrunching them at the elbow and walks into the kitchen, the fresh smell of warmed up food greeting her as Castle pulls the croque-monsieur from the oven.

"Were you preparing for the apocalypse when you ordered all of this food?"

"No," she responds, lifting herself onto the counter, "but I was thinking that we have the place to ourselves tomorrow and neither one of us would want to go out and get something."

"We could have ordered something in."

"And ruin your plans to seduce me by having to put on clothes?" He's standing just to the right of her and she reaches an arm out, wrapping it around his neck. He comes easily, willing, the smile he gives her the same one he first did nearly a decade ago. She bites down on her lip, watches as his irises burn dark. "I don't think so, Castle."

"I knew I married you for a reason," he mutters, slanting his lips over hers in a light kiss. "You're so smart."

She grins against his mouth and nods her agreement before pushing him back. The ground is cold when she hops back onto the floor and she shivers, pulling the sleeves down again. She grabs the bottle of champagne off the counter as well as the two flutes and the basket of fries and walks into the living room. He's set the coffee table with candles, some of the food she bought already there and the Princess crown on display. She smiles because it's ridiculous how much he loves it, runs her fingers over the soft pink feathers and slips onto the couch, grabbing the blanket over the back. She must have fallen asleep quickly, unnoticeably, because she startles at the shift in weight when he sits down close to her, stretching across the extended area on the edge.

Castle's hand grips her calf, fingers kneading deep into the skin. "You're exhausted."

"And that's why I married you," she teases, resting her head back. "You're so astute."

"Look at that, Beckett. The wiseass has rubbed off on you." She lets out a laugh and forces herself forward, grabbing a handful of fries. Castle grins, watching her and she lifts an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You have grabby hands like our daughter."

"Shut up. I'm hungry."

She pops a fry into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully as he pours them glasses of champagne. She watches the bubbles, the smooth gold settling into the flute. He hands her one and she takes it gratefully. It usually makes her tired - in this case it'll probably put her to sleep in seconds (again) - but she wants to feel it in her bones, the way it settles and warms.

"Happy New Year, Kate."

It's almost three, the start of the year past, but it feels more right now than it would have surrounded by family and friends. She taps her glass against his. "Happy New Year." She takes a long sip and it has the desired effect: warm, sweet, so very _very_ perfect. "So, tell me about the party. What did I miss while Ryan regaled me of stories of Christmas in Florida? Did you know the four of them drove down there?"

Castle piles food onto a plate for her, and truthfully, she's too tired to protest. Despite the strange hour, he knows just what she wants, how much she wants of each item. She's almost forgotten that he's spent so long following her, studying her moves so his characterizations of Nikki were spot on. There's a tinge of sadness in that, his last Nikki Heat book completed and on the shelves this spring but it's fine, it _is._ It's for the best anyway; the character was losing steam and really, she had pushed him to end it, to start something new because it was good for him career wise. He had been long overdue on his drafts with this last one, too afraid to let it go as if he was somehow letting _her _go. She had coaxed him into bed that night - for nights after, when the calls from Gina to finish were beginning to grate on them both - and promised him that she was here, that no matter who he wrote next or what he did, she was always beside him.

He looks at her now in question, wondering what she's thinking, as he hands off the plate to her. She shakes her head with an almost imperceptible nod and his lips lift in a small smile: acceptance.

"Jenny mentioned it. I've never been so grateful that all of our family is here. But speaking of the party, something did happen you might be interested in."

"What?"

Castle glances toward the stairs, his voice lowering. "Scott pulled me aside. He asked for my permission to propose to Alexis."

"How hard of a time did you give him?"

"I didn't!"

"Castle-"

He sighs, and he's like a little boy who's been caught doing something he shouldn't be. "Okay, I may have messed with him a little, but come on! I'm not going to have the opportunity to do this for another forty years."

She nearly chokes on the sip of champagne she's just taken. She sputters out a cough and her husband is adorable, truly adorable if that's what he believes. Then again, she was practically in her mid-thirties. "You think Ava is going to get married in her forties?"

"Wishful thinking. And thank you for not making jokes that I'll likely be dead by then."

"You're not that much older than me, Castle. I won't be that far behind you." _She hopes._ It's blinding sometimes, that realization that her mother will never see her hit forty, that she missed so much in Kate's life. She doesn't let herself think of it often, that realization that she could somehow do the same thing to her daughter: get shot, get stabbed, leave before Ava is ready. She quickly brushes it off, takes another drink. "You okay with that?"

"With being dead? I don't have great feelings about it, no."

"I meant Alexis getting engaged, smartass."

He grins at her. "Smartass and wiseass. I like it."

"Just wait until I break out jackass."

He leans forward, lips skimming over hers. His hand slides through her tangled hair, and she opens her mouth to him, sighs as his tongue hits hers, slow and easy in its ministrations. She rests her cheek against his when the kiss breaks, inhales the sweet scent of their daughter that must have washed off on him during the midnight celebration, the taste of champagne that surely matches her own on his taste buds.

"You wouldn't dare," he murmurs.

"Pretty sure I did last week." She leans back, picking her plate back up. The food is delicious, and she has to remember to order the chicken again next time instead of her regular croque-monsieur. "You didn't answer my question."

"She's not much older than I was when I married Meredith."

"You think she's too young."

"She's more mature than I was at that age, but I'm afraid that she's not done growing, changing. What if she's still discovering herself and she gets married and in five years she is a different person?" She doesn't say anything, lets him work through his oldest growing up inside his own head for a moment. "I like Scott, a lot. He's good for her. If she says yes - and I know she will - then I trust her."

"And if you didn't have a younger daughter who's too young to leave you?"

"Oh there's no way in hell I'd give Scott my permission."

Kate laughs, finishing off the last of her fries before putting the plate back on the coffee table. He hands his over and she places it on top of hers. His arms are open and she leans back into him, melting against his chest. Castle's arms envelope her, his lips gliding over the top of her head. She closes her eyes, but it's not about exhaustion anymore, merely him and the way he eases her. "Is he doing it here or when they get back to London?"

"He said he wants to do it before they leave. He knows how much it would mean to her to be around family."

"Ava will love that." She tilts her head to look up at him. "Is he proposing at dinner tomorrow night?"

"I think so. We have reservations but depending on how exhausted AJ is by that point I figured we could always do something here. Or I can give them the reservation and we can celebrate here afterwards."

"Offer the reservation if he wants it. There's no way Ava is going to make it through dinner if she doesn't get a nap tomorrow and knowing our parents she won't."

She can tell he's nodding by the way he moves behind her, the slight shift in his body. It remains silent between them, nothing but the music she had forgotten was on, the dishwasher that's seconds away from shutting off. Castle's hand slides underneath her sweatshirt at her waist, his palm a soothing balm against her skin. She hums a sigh of contentment, and she hates to ruin the moment, but she has to. She rests her head back on his shoulder, lifting her eyes to him.

"You know we have to discuss your talk with Patterson eventually, right?"

"You're tired. Maybe now isn't the time."

"I'm capable of holding a conversation."

Kate watches the change in his eyes and she shifts out of his embrace. She's facing him, her legs crossed Indian style, and he's back to squeezing her calf with gentle fingers, summoning whatever words he needs to get out.

"Two and a half months."

"Where?"

"U.S. Europe. Parts of Australia. Maybe South America. I told him no."

"Castle-"

"Beckett, I'm not leaving the two of you to go on a tour for almost three months. I'm more than happy to give my proceeds to Cannell's charity, but I'm calling Paula in the morning to tell her no. I'll do my usual month long tour in the states and that's it."

"So you just made this decision without talking to me?"

"That's not-"

She shakes her head, cutting him off. "When is it?"

"Beginning of June to mid August."

"Okay, and if we send Ava to camp like we discussed then that's the entire summer. She won't even be home."

"What if AJ hates it? What if she gets sick in the middle of the day?"

"First of all, have you ever met your daughter, Castle? She's you. She walks into a room and has a hundred friends in less than a minute. But if anything happens, Jenny will be there working and while they're not the same age, Erin is going too. That girl has been protective of Ava since the day she was born. If she needs it, Erin will be there." She rests her hand on his cheek, doesn't speak again until he's looking at her. "What else do you got?"

"I'll miss our anniversary."

She smiles, shrugging. "I missed it last year because of work. From what I remember I more than made it up to you."

"You made it up to me alright. Antigua will never be the same. Should I buy the tickets to Aruba now?"

"Aruba, Bora Bora. The Bahamas." But the lights dim behind his eyes, the worry returning and she kneels, braces both hands on his face this time. "Castle, it's okay," she says, softly.

"But-"

She presses another kiss to his lips, settling back on her haunches. "I'm not talking about the summer. It's okay that it's the last Heat novel. You had reasons for walking away. I understand that, I respect that. You leaving us for three months to go on tour at the same time the last book is released doesn't mean anything. Stop thinking that just because you walked away from the one on the page means you're walking away from us."

"When did you become a shrink?"

"I don't need to be a shrink to know _you._" She slides a leg over his waist, straddling him. Her tongue slips over the corner of his mouth, his arms tightening around her, and she bites down on his lower lip, eliciting a groan from him. "I love you. I love you for all the years you followed me around and waited until I was ready to do this." She motions around the room, the evidence of their life together. "For sticking with me through everything I once put you through. For marrying me and giving me the most gorgeous, smart, creative, incredible child who reminds me every day how far I've come. I love that you've written ten books for me, _about_ me, but it isn't _why _I love you. So, you had to give Nikki and Rook up, but you will _always_ have me, Castle. You will always have this life that we created."

"I let her lose steam. I couldn't keep her interesting-"

"You have to stop this. Characters lose steam. James is a great writer - you know I adore him - but he keeps series going way longer than he should. It's better you stop Nikki before she becomes Alex Cross. I know you're still interested in me." She rocks against him and she smiles, unbuttoning his jeans. She slides a hand inside his pants and he gasps when she wraps a hand around him, hard and straining and desperate already. "I can feel it," she whispers into his ear.

His hips jerk up and she doesn't expect the way it slams into her, didn't know how badly she wanted him tonight until right now. She draws in a sharp breath, swears that she whimpers on her exhale. Castle's hands slide over her ass, lowering the pants that were once his, the ones that barely fit her to begin with and he slips a finger inside of her, then another curling them until she pitches forward.

"Cas-"

But then they're gone and over her lips, smelling of her.

"Shh," he mutters. "There are people upstairs."

She rolls her tongue over the pad of his fingers, tasting herself, her teeth skimming the length of them. "It's never stopped us before."

He leans forward, and she doesn't know what he's doing until that damn crown is on top of her head again, the combs fastened securely in her hair. It makes her smile though, makes her feel like a princess despite it being ridiculous, and then her mouth is on his, all teeth and tongue and roaming hands. She pushes him back so he's laying flat on the cushion and unzips his pants, pulling them down and over his ass. He's grinning up at her, smugly, and she can't help but smile. She lifts herself until she's sinking down onto him, her eyes closing because she's so tight around him and _oh_ this is going to be fast. He's all around her, filling each crevice of her before either of them move, and she bends down, resting her forehead against his, breathing.

"I knew getting maudlin about the end of Nikki Heat would result in sex."

Kate presses her palms down on his chest, rotates her hips and he's groaning deep in his throat. "Castle, now would be a good time to shut up."

"Right. Shutting up."

She rises above him, his hands gripping her thighs and she sinks back down on him again and again, slowly, maddeningly. He's staring up at her, his eyes dark and longing, hand pulling at the ends of her hair that hang down her back and she brushes her finger over his lips, continues to move because she can do this for him tonight.

"You never let her lose steam," she says, her voice hoarse. "You made her invigorating. You brought her to life. She's a part of me. She always will be no matter how many years pass since you've written her. Nikki will always be ours."

And then his mouth is on her, everywhere he can touch. Her sweatshirt is sliding up and he pulls her on top of him, her breast in his mouth, teeth scraping over her nipple, biting until she nearly cries out. He soothes it with his tongue, and _god_ it's been too long and she wants him, _needs_ him and tomorrow they can do slow, but for now -

Kate slams her pelvis against his and he's moaning against her skin, quietly, but enough that she can hear it, enough that it drives her, her body moving lithe and gracefully over him. His hand slides between their bodies and she gasps when he touches her where she aches the most, rolling his fingers over her bundle of nerves while his tongue works wonders on her breast and it's building all around her: the tour, the book, their story, their life and she's biting her lip, drawing blood because his fingers work magic on her where it counts, they always have, and she knows she's about to lose it, feels the spasms beginning low in her stomach. Her head is slung back as she rides him out, her hands bracketing his ankles and he works her harder, harder, _harder_ until she's screaming silently, letting herself go. His hips are jerking beneath her and he's close, so close, he always is after she comes, and she sits up, lifts herself off of him. She can feel how wet she is, her thighs damp with both of them and she slowly lowers herself, inch by agonizing inch.

"Kate-" he manages, but he meets her halfway, slamming up into her and she's kissing him, mouth branded to his as he breaks, and she falls apart again, his fingers marking her skin with biting indentations.

She rests her head on his chest, finding her solid ground again, and his lips brush over her forehead lovingly. Their bodies are damp when she moves and she's going to need to change before bed, get out of those clothes and maybe this tiara that's now lopsided and a little worse for the wear (and might need to be brought back again tomorrow at some point.)

"Ava and I can come visit you," she finally says, shifting off of him. "Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Jersey, I'll do my best to get us there. And if you're in London at the end of summer when Ava is out of camp, I'll take the time off and we'll come and visit. She can spend time with Alexis and Scott, we can have everyone together. We'll make it work just like we always do. You need to do this though. You, Patterson, Lehane, Connelley - you're doing it for Cannell. You know he would have for you."

Castle smiles. "I love you."

"I know." She stands up, shimmying her pants up and over her ass. She knows he's watching, and she grins, bending down to pick up a plate. His hand curves around her bottom, and he smacks it gently before standing, pulling his jeans back on. "We should clean up and go to bed. I have a feeling Ava will still be up at seven regardless."

He follows her into the kitchen, placing the plates in the sink. "I can't believe you're not mad at me about that. I was certain you'd want to kill me for letting her stay up."

She stands on her tiptoes, pressing her lips over his. She turns her head, breath hot over his ear. "You needed a Beckett to kiss at midnight. Who do you think asked her to be your date?"

* * *

_finis_

* * *

Author's Notes: First, I want to apologize for the lateness of it (although I guess given that it's a New Year's Eve fic, it's right on time) but I appreciate so much everyone who read, reviewed, and loved Ava as much as I did. Second, a very special extra thank you to Laura (x2), Nancy, Heather, Jess (and by extension Charlie) and Nat who were super supportive of this and nagging and perfect and also to actuallyido for bringing the last NH book into conversation and letting me run with it. And last but not least, HAPPY NEW YEAR! This was my first one in this little Castle world and I am overwhelmed by how incredible people have been to me. I am so grateful for it; you really have no idea. I love you all.


End file.
